I fucking hate you. I hate your cheery music through the phone, tinkling behind a lie. I hate the tick-tick-tick of your computerised spin. I hate your lights, pretty colours and cheesy themes. I hate one-centers, five-centres and most of all jackpot links. I hate your hypnotic pull. I hate your tall stools and the sticky floor at your feet. I hate your hungry belly, gorging on a mortgage, two mortgages, countless dollars. I hate the trance you put on the zombies around you. I hate your credit card slots. I hate your smoking area. I hate the hole you made in my family. I hate that we stare at each other, waiting for something to happen. I hate hiding good fortune. I hate the lies and the sneaking and the shame and the guilt and the desperation that you have brought to our lives, that wasn't there before. I hate the magic tricks done with jewellery. I hate the guilt-gifts following a big win. I hate the darkness of a losing streak.
Dear Clubs and Pokie-owning Companies,
I hate you. I hate your incentive points, your VIP lounges, your car giveaways. I hate your free fucking nuts and coffee. I hate your cinema with attendants who don't mind the unattended children. I hate your conveniently located ATMs. I hate your name on my bank statement from days I was at school. I hate your ads showing happy, carefree folk. I hate your community fucking spirit and sporting donations. I hate your courtesy bus and your many disabled parking spaces. I hate your two-dollar roast lunch on Wednesdays. I hate your fancy renovations masquerading as making more room for pokies. I hate your disappearing family-friendly areas. I will not eat in your bistro or drink at your bar, no matter how many sprinkles you put on the free ice cream with kid's meals. I will not shop at your supermarket, no matter how many books you buy for my son's school. You have already taken more than your share from me.
Dear Tim Freedman,
I wish I could, too.
Dear X,
I love you. I know your strength, and I believe in you. Please stop.
Dear anyone struggling with gambling,
Your people love you. Please get help.
http://www.problemgamblingguide.com/find_help_-_australia.html
http://www.gamblinghelponline.org.au/
Oh my Sascedar I'm so sorry to hear the struggles that you are facing. It is so hard to witness someone with a compulsive habit, to have to deal with the consequences that it inflicts upon you, wanting it to stop. May X get the help they need to get them out of this cycle for everyones sake. Take care. xxx
ReplyDeleteI share your hate. I have not been affected personally but I see the evil of those tinky lights.
ReplyDeleteWhen I grew up Victoria never had any porkies, people survived very well with a once a year trip to the border for a flutter.
What a powerful post. So sad that you have to write it.
ReplyDeletex
Phew!
ReplyDeleteThere is so much more in life than that depressing ugly scene that you described, be strong. I hope you and X can get through this and move into a happier place.
X
I hate them too. I would watch grass grow, paint dry, a snail get from one end of the verandah to the other then have anything to do with them, and their insidious tentacles.
ReplyDeleteMy first husband had a love affair with them. It didn't help that he worked at the club as well, and was convinced he knew which ones were going to pay.
Feel your pain sister, love light and strength. Xoxo
Oh hunny :(
ReplyDeleteI know all too well the pain that addiction creates. The grip it has is so hard to break free from - no matter what the addiction is. It has no shame in tearing families apart.
Its been three months since separating from my husband due to addiction. He is now on the road of recovery. But it doesn't make the pain it has caused any easier.
Feel free to email me if you ever want to talk.
You're not alone. Please remember that xxx
Oh hunny :(
ReplyDeleteI know all too well the pain that addiction creates. The grip it has is so hard to break free from - no matter what the addiction is. It has no shame in tearing families apart.
Its been three months since separating from my husband due to addiction. He is now on the road of recovery. But it doesn't make the pain it has caused any easier.
Feel free to email me if you ever want to talk.
You're not alone. Please remember that xxx
Oh hunny :(
ReplyDeleteI know all too well the pain that addiction creates. The grip it has is so hard to break free from - no matter what the addiction is. It has no shame in tearing families apart.
Its been three months since separating from my husband due to addiction. He is now on the road of recovery. But it doesn't make the pain it has caused any easier.
Feel free to email me if you ever want to talk.
You're not alone. Please remember that xxx
Just know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. My hubby battled this very addiction for a few years. It caused a temporary seperation while he sort counselling and it was such a tough time as I went through so many emotions myself but thankfully with help and time he recovered and 10 years later I no longer worry that he may lapse.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you :)
x
I couldn't let a post like this go without saying how much I hope this is conquerable. Thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteOh my. I hate them too. Awful.
ReplyDeleteSo thankful that here in WA they're only at the casino - not in every bar and club. I remember living in Sydney and Canberra and they were everywhere, so very hard to avoid. Such a pity.
My heart and thoughts are with you.
Dear pokies, I fucking hate you too!
I read this a few times and couldn't put my comments into words that would offer adequate support and love so all I will say is I'm so sorry that you are going through this. My thoughts are with you xxx
ReplyDelete@all of you: your comments are like rays of sunny hope, warm and kind. Thank you. It breaks my heart that so many suffer with this 'acceptable', invisible addiction.
ReplyDeleteBrilliantly written.
ReplyDeleteYou brought tears to my eyes.
I am in total agreement. Fuck the pokies.
And my heart goes out to those who endure the pain this dark addiction can inflict.
Yes blow up the pokies.
ReplyDeleteI suffer this terrible addiction and am in recovery mode ATM.
Blow up the pokies in QLD and NSW.
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ReplyDelete